When God says “No”

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Photo credits: Spiritual Inspiration

Sometimes, our wants are not aligned with His wants for us. Nonetheless, we settle for the first thing we find or the most convenient solution in fear of nothing getting another chance. We’re afraid that that’s about how good things can get and that we won’t get anything more.

This fear is what holds us back. With fear comes doubt and frustration and when they creep in, evil takes root in our lives. When we’re anxious and afraid, we tend to lose sight of the big picture and cower in the dark. Many people today live with a blessing less than God’s best because they settle. They allowed fear to paralyze them instead of letting God’s boundless blessing, overflowing love and endless grace fill their lives.

Fortunately, God is bigger than our fear. Instead, we need to remember that He created us with a purpose. He won’t give His child just any random thing along the road. He’d make sure that a specific gift was carefully crafted and made specially for you. He’d want to make sure that it’s the best of the best and the best you can get. He’d ensure that it’s suitable for you and it’d enable you to glorify His name. When he refuses something or takes something away, it’s because He’s preparing to give you something better and new. Hence, when he says no, don’t throw a tantrum, scramble back into it and refuse letting go. He has bigger blessings planned for you. Thank Him.

Ted Hughes writes to his son, Nicholas.

Source: Brainpickings

“When I came to Lake Victoria, it was quite obvious to me that in some of the most important ways you are much more mature than I am. . . . But in many other ways obviously you are still childish — how could you not be, you alone among mankind? It’s something people don’t discuss, because it’s something most people are aware of only as a general crisis of sense of inadequacy, or helpless dependence, or pointless loneliness, or a sense of not having a strong enough ego to meet and master inner storms that come from an unexpected angle. But not many people realise that it is, in fact, the suffering of the child inside them. Everybody tries to protect this vulnerable two three four five six seven eight year old inside, and to acquire skills and aptitudes for dealing with the situations that threaten to overwhelm it. So everybody develops a whole armour of secondary self, the artificially constructed being that deals with the outer world, and the crush of circumstances. And when we meet people this is what we usually meet. And if this is the only part of them we meet we’re likely to get a rough time, and to end up making ‘no contact’. But when you develop a strong divining sense for the child behind that armour, and you make your dealings and negotiations only with that child, you find that everybody becomes, in a way, like your own child. It’s an intangible thing. But they too sense when that is what you are appealing to, and they respond with an impulse of real life, you get a little flash of the essential person, which is the child. Usually, that child is a wretchedly isolated undeveloped little being. It’s been protected by the efficient armour, it’s never participated in life, it’s never been exposed to living and to managing the person’s affairs, it’s never been given responsibility for taking the brunt. And it’s never properly lived. That’s how it is in almost everybody. And that little creature is sitting there, behind the armour, peering through the slits. And in its own self, it is still unprotected, incapable, inexperienced. Every single person is vulnerable to unexpected defeat in this inmost emotional self. At every moment, behind the most efficient seeming adult exterior, the whole world of the person’s childhood is being carefully held like a glass of water bulging above the brim. And in fact, that child is the only real thing in them. It’s their humanity, their real individuality, the one that can’t understand why it was born and that knows it will have to die, in no matter how crowded a place, quite on its own. That’s the carrier of all the living qualities. It’s the centre of all the possible magic and revelation. What doesn’t come out of that creature isn’t worth having, or it’s worth having only as a tool — for that creature to use and turn to account and make meaningful. So there it is. And the sense of itself, in that little being, at its core, is what it always was. But since that artificial secondary self took over the control of life around the age of eight, and relegated the real, vulnerable, supersensitive, suffering self back into its nursery, it has lacked training, this inner prisoner. And so, wherever life takes it by surprise, and suddenly the artificial self of adaptations proves inadequate, and fails to ward off the invasion of raw experience, that inner self is thrown into the front line — unprepared, with all its childhood terrors round its ears. And yet that’s the moment it wants. That’s where it comes alive — even if only to be overwhelmed and bewildered and hurt. And that’s where it calls up its own resources — not artificial aids, picked up outside, but real inner resources, real biological ability to cope, and to turn to account, and to enjoy. That’s the paradox: the only time most people feel alive is when they’re suffering, when something overwhelms their ordinary, careful armour, and the naked child is flung out onto the world. That’s why the things that are worst to undergo are best to remember. But when that child gets buried away under their adaptive and protective shells—he becomes one of the walking dead, a monster. So when you realise you’ve gone a few weeks and haven’t felt that awful struggle of your childish self — struggling to lift itself out of its inadequacy and incompetence — you’ll know you’ve gone some weeks without meeting new challenge, and without growing, and that you’ve gone some weeks towards losing touch with yourself. The only calibration that counts is how much heart people invest, how much they ignore their fears of being hurt or caught out or humiliated. And the only thing people regret is that they didn’t live boldly enough, that they didn’t invest enough heart, didn’t love enough. Nothing else really counts at all.”

be afraid. be very afraid.

fear the possibility that you are not able to spend time with your family and friends, to do things you want, or to complete what you had to. fear that one day they’ll be gone, away, and out of reach. fear the words “losing,” “missing,” “wasting.” fear that you’re running out of time, because only then will you be afraid that your are not living your life to the fullest.

fear that you will be forced to choose a path. choosing a path mean having to miss out on others. it will be a pity if you live your entire life and simply looking back to regret the choices you (did not) make now. fear that you may not be able to follow all possible paths because life has so much to offer and it would be a relief to know that today is not an ultimatum and you will still have another chance tomorrow.

fear that you are running out of curiosity and a sense of wonder. it might limit your open mind, confine you in a box, and prevent you from being an explorer. fear the feeling of knowing everything, it makes you proud and uninterested to the things around you. fear that you don’t look forward to tomorrow. you may not look for the meaning of life and you will be stuck in a hole. now, that would be a pity because the world is full of wonders.

fear being dull or mediocre because you are not challenging the boundaries, daring to be different, or playing with the impractical. because this means you are a creature of the commonplace, a slave of the ordinary – together with the rest. instead, be outstanding. be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision to a sometimes-confused world.

fear that you may not have been true to yourself. because, denying who you are and not showcasing it to the world simply waste the space you occupy. by not letting your personality shine, you did not leave your footprint on earth, make a difference, change the world the way you were meant to be.

fear that you may start to “not give a fuck.” that means you don’t care anymore. when that time comes, you may not look for what you want, you may not stand for what you believe in, you may not fight for what you deserve. not caring might make you feel that you have no purpose and that’s sad because you won’t realise how different the world will be without you around. the world is your oyster and yes, you should give a damn.

so, my dear friend. if you are not careful, you may forget these. so, be afraid. be very afraid.