People, in general, have this need for a definition. We would like to define an economic word, or how the interesting girl in class looks like, or how the food tastes like. For us, things just need to be in black and white. Inevitably, this extends to ourselves as well. However, we fail to realise that not all things can be easily defined. Sometimes, even the most complicated long-winded description is still not enough to express something. Were you ever able to fully describe that mixture of inexplicable emotion inside your chest when you are in love? Excited? Jealous? Disappointed?
Similarly, as we encounter different people, we try to define ourselves as well; who we are- that person we see in front of the mirror. However, sometimes, we fail to realise that it is hard to define ourselves because…. life is a journey. As we walk along the winding path, we pick up new habits, new friends and new ideas while leaving old ones. Indeed, it is true that the only permanent thing is change. We are different types of people at various point in our lives.
In fact, sometimes, the more we try to define ourselves, the more we discern that we cannot fit into a specific model. The more try to define ourselves, the more we get lost and confused with who we actually are. We surprise ourselves on the most unexpected times by doing something we never thought we would. For example, even though we know that studies is the most important thing in our lives, we will still be a crying shoulder and a lending hand for a problematic dear friend on the night right before our exam. Or, a really shy introverted girl walks into a corporate cocktail party and suddenly transforms into a social butterfly.
In one way or another, we will always go beyond that mould of ideas we have of ourselves. You know, why? Because life is full of surprises! We will never know some things- in this case about ourselves- until we actually encounter them.
Do not get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with trying to define ourselves, in trying to find who we are. I am guilty of it as well. Some people may even wittily say, "know your limitations and then, ignore them." In fact, it may even be healthier to question ourselves than to foolishly think we know ourselves when we actually don’t.
I guess we just have to keep in mind that, in reality, there is no concrete model or perfect diagram to classify everything. We just have to strive to be that person we would like to be; be it to be someone focused, religious, sporty, nerdy, friendly, carefree or even a mixture of all these. We simply aim to be the ideal person whom we want to be proud of and then, our deeds eventually turn into actions and later on, to who we become.
I just hope we remember that sometimes, words does not mean everything. Actions and thoughts do. Just as how statistics measures everything but the value of nothing. I guess we have to stop thinking with our brain just because it is on top; Sometimes, the truth simply comes from the heart- the centre of it all. We just have to be who we are.