i have 3 lives..
the one that i want to live in. the one that everyone knows. the one that’s real….
but i also have 2 other lives. both hidden. both unknown. one is because im ashamed. nobody wud understand. the other one is because, i hate it. sometimes, its fun.. i can escape reality as i hop from one personality to another… yet, sometimes, its confusing…. i dont know what’s happening coz i dont know who the real me is anymore. everything is going so fast and i just go with it, with no strong-willed determnation to step back and think it through…. sometimes, i try to defend myself [from myself] that its because i say that its beyond my control. i tell myself that no. ur not this bad person. ur a misunderstood angel who’s lost in dark grey clouds…. but sometimes, i also think.. nope. ur as mean as all those disgusting girls and ur just putting on that fake mask.. now, which is which? i dont know anymore….. i want to run away.. but, to where? i dont know as well… but one day i will.. i will search for myself.. i know that no one can understand me anymore. i cant even understand myself. sometimes, i ask for help. but they are of no use. coz nothings gonna happen unless i act on it… one day, i will…